The Battle Behind Writing My Book | The Harsh Inner Critic | Why Your Life Sucks


The struggle behind what we think we need to do, what is right to do and what we actually do. It’s an inner wrestling match that I think every single person will go through at some time.


This book represents all those things for me. And this was a time that I actually followed through and brought it to completion. Even with my fears, insecurities and set backs.


When I hear God’s voice or see things in my sub conscious it is usually first thing in the morning when I wake up. Before I prepare my to-do list, before my kids are up and we are settling into our somewhat organized chaos.


For quite some time I would ask God, “What should I be doing with my life?” “What’s my next step?” “What do you have for me?”


Although I am a busy mom of 4, I always felt like there was something in addition to my life and to serve others. But I couldn’t figure it out. I didn’t know what that looked like. Like at all.  I was passionate about so many different things but couldn’t see it coming together as one ‘thing’ or ‘job.’


I don’t have an impressive resume. I don’t have a fancy degree and I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.


I did not get a clear picture quickly. It was more of a process. One morning I woke up to the picture you see above. I saw the title, written in paper scraps. I saw the yellow background. I saw the stories of sharing ‘why my life sucked’ and how it had been restored and how healing is a real thing.




This was so clear to me yet so scary too. My first thoughts were ‘But, I’m not a writer. I don’t know the first thing about writing a book. Who do you hire to actually print your book into copies? How to you get the barcode thingy on the back? I don’t have enough to say, it will be like 13 pages long.’


I was so good at naming what I am not. I was good at highlighting my insecurities, doubts and uncertainty. I was not so good at saying yes and believing there was a purpose for this.


It took me quite a while to actually say yes and begin to write. But I did. One word at a time. It took me over a year to get the book written, edited, copyrighted, the cover designed, etc.


But it is finished. I have copies of my book and can order more. This is just the beginning.


I don’t know the next step, I don’t know the plan, I don’t know how many readers will want to read the book.  But I don’t have to, I don’t need to.


This book is about my stories, but it’s not about me. It’s about God’s restoration in my life.


I just recently went to the IF: Gathering at my church. This was the confirmation, the nudge and the peace I needed to actually let people know I wrote this book.


: : Be Strong : : Be Courageous : : Don’t Be Afraid : :


“What if I didn’t articulate what I meant to say?”

“What if people are offended by the title?”

“What if my facts are wrong?”

“What if. What if. What if?”

: : Be Strong : : Be Courageous : : Don’t Be Afraid : :


The conference validated everything in me. Even my fears.

3 questions that we face when we are asked to do something are these.

1. Am I enough?

2.Will I be safe?

3.What is the cost?

My spirit did cartwheels! Yes. Yes. Yes! It was a like a green light to GO. I don’t have the next steps. I don’t have the plan. I am brave because of his strength, not mine. I am stepping out because I don’t want to stay stagnant when this move could be the next step in my Destiny. I’ll never know if I don’t move. God has already equipped me. I already did the work he asked me to. Now it’s time to move. My faith is what is leading me, not my knowledge.

: : Be Strong : : Be Courageous : : Don’t Be Afraid : :


At the conference one of the speakers said,” free people, free people” That made my heart sing! I want to live a life of freedom and help other people realize that they are free as well. One of the requirements of being free is to not live in fear.

I want you to know this. You are an overcomer. You are victorious and you can step out in faith. Whatever that may look like for you life. You have been through things that might not have made any sense at the time. But you got through it. You may have a gifting that makes no sense why you were given it. God has chosen you and designed you for His Glory and His purpose!

Focus on God right there with you as you step out in faith. I promise there are angels singing in their angelic way at the sound of your movements towards God and for Him. It’s okay if it looks messy, if you are unsure of the unknown. You don’t have to know the rest of the plan, you just have to make a tiny move towards it.

For more info on the book, checkout the link below.

—> Place Your Order Here Now<—

I’d love to hear your thoughts below! Leave me a comment and share a time in your life when you stepped out in faith and what that looked like!

: : Be Strong : : Be Courageous : : Don’t Be Afraid : :





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  • Charis Denning

    Reply Reply February 20, 2015

    Yeah Barb! I’m so happy for you and I can’t wait to read the book. I know you stepping out in faith, not in your own abilities but in God, will be such an encouragement for others to do the same. Love you

    • admin

      Reply Reply February 20, 2015

      Thank you so much Charis for your your kind and encouraging post! It means so much to me to have your love and support! xoxo

  • Michelle

    Reply Reply February 23, 2015

    Barb, once a LONG time ago I found one of your videos on YouTube & it spoke to me but I moved to something else & couldn’t remember enough to find it again…today, somehow I happened upon it again & I thought further trying to find more you had done or whether you were still “online” & I found your site…Im not sure why but I felt then & now like we’d be frienDS if I met you, just that somehow we were connected so I read above about your book & I feel closer to God than I have in a look g time. Sounds strange, Im sure, I can e plain it. As soon as I can, I would love to order your book& I’m looking forward to your video. Hope to connect. God bless you for what I see already you’re doing to bring more children home! Love & prosperity

    • admin

      Reply Reply February 23, 2015

      Great to hear form you Michelle and Im glad you found me again! Funny how people are meant to circle back in our lives!

  • chad

    Reply Reply March 3, 2015

    Sweet! Way to go for it! Proud to call you my friend and sister in law!!!!
    Love you

    • admin

      Reply Reply March 4, 2015

      Thanks so much Chad for your support!! It really means a lot to me : )

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